woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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