I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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