i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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