Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
