hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
