Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize