Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
