The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
People in love make me want to vomit
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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