we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
