Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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