She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
