Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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