I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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