Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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