I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dick has a subreddit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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