He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
