My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
