haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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