Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
