Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
