so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
