They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
