I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
