HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
