Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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