Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
