if i can run in heels then i can drive
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
