she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
