Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Watching her eat just hurts me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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