Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
