she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Randomize
