Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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