They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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