fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
