He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
