please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
