he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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