So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
