Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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