Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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