first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
