he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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