Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
