Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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