He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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