I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
