If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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