Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
