i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
