i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
