Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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