Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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