hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
